Tag Archives: confession

Adventure to the GF Patisserie

I sometimes have a lot of difficulty holding myself back when it comes to excellent gluten free baking. Or granola bars. Or chocolate. Sometimes, it’s amazing that I’m not 200+lbs because of all the food I want to eat.

For example, on Saturday, Mr. Bean and I headed out to Cochrane to check out a new found (by me) gluten free bakery called GF Patisserie. They were celebrating their 1 year anniversary, so we started off with a mini piece of very delicious birthday cake.

Had I the choice, I would probably have bought many, many things but I had restraint (my waist thanks me.) There were cakes, brownies, cupcakes, coffee cakes, breads and a whole bunch of other frozen delights – we ended up gettingĀ  a mini coffee cake and a loaf of flax bread.

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I think I ate about 3/4 of the loaf of flax bread yesterday. It’s especially good with marmalade:

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Or anything, really. Thankfully, the loaf isn’t that big:

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Hey, if you had bread for the first time in a really long time that had texture similar to what you remember gluten-tastic bread to be like, you’d have difficulty holding back as well.

So, if anyone who reads this is in the Calgary area, the trip out to Cochrane is worth it.

With that all said, I better go back to explaining to Mr. Bean why I got so excited about Darth Vader’s big pretty ship in the Empire Strikes Back.

What types of food do you have difficulty restraining yourself from pigging out on?

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I don’t want to think about it…

Have you ever had something that you really don’t want to think about but have to? I’m needing to currently. The only thing is that I’ve spent so much of my life avoiding thinking about it that I don’t know how to let myself. I guess I’m afraid of losing control – I’ve put so many band-aids over the gaping wound to try to keep it together and I’m not willing to re-open it. I’m afraid that I’ll end up in a hospital or something but I guess it’s better than feeling partially wretched all the time. I hate how I have to hit rock bottom before I can really get better.

How have you dealt with things that you’d rather not?

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4am Ramblings

Yes, unfortunately it is 4 am in the morning. I woke up after a bizarre dream at about 3 and haven’t been able to get back to sleep since. So, I thought that I would come and write some random things (hopefully) for your reading enjoyment. Or at least have a semi-good rant to get some things off my chest.

Theoretically my new lappy is going to be in today. I’m not really keeping my hopes up after my other previous experience.

I’ve determined that any type of sleeping medication and myself = very bad day. For example, this weekend I took the latest medicinal attempt to get me to sleep and I ended up almost fainting, with extreme low blood pressure (ie. I couldn’t get out of bed without pretty much collapsing) and the stomach flu. So I guess that means that I’m going to have to find other ways to make myself relax and sleep. Any suggestions?

I have also determined that I want to be heard and held, not fixed. That does mean that it’s going to be a painful next while and I deal through emotions and events. But I guess it’s worth it to find out who you are and to actually live instead of just survive.

I guess one of the main thing that is bothering me at this moment (except perhaps that I’m dealing with a lot of denied and repression emotions) is that I’m having to do this presentation to potential future interns about why they should want to work at my work. I’m finding it really difficult because my experience at my work hasn’t been the best and so any positive experience is seemingly a lie. I do understand that other people do and can really enjoy working there, I just don’t. My counselor suggested just to fake it, which I’m usually quite proficient at doing, but this time it just seems to hard. It’s easy enough to lie to one or two people but what about 20 or 30? And then you have to keep up the lie. But on the other hand, I do want to give my work a good review as other people could find it really rewarding and I want to keep my job.

It probably doesn’t help that all I can think about when I’m brainstorming for this presentation is the President of the company asking me after my final presentation why I don’t want to come back and work for this company. (I don’t know if he will, but I’m pretty sure that he asked one of last year’s intern’s that when she didn’t decide to come back.) What would I say? “Yes, Mr. President of Company, I became severely depressed while working here and I’d really love to relive that whole experience in a year from now!” I think I do a good enough job of putting myself through mental torture and I don’t need that again. Ugh.

So, does anyone have any suggestions on how to fake my way through this presentation without turning into (more of) a basket case? Any help is greatly appreciated.

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Guess What Didn’t Come in the Mail?

You’ve guessed right. My new lappy. Alas. Dell was supposed to email me if it wasn’t shipped and they didn’t and purolator couldn’t get a case and a USB key to the nearest store to my house for 4 days. Needless, I’m not too impressed, but it’ll arrive soon. (It better… or grumble.)

But enough complaining, for I have a confession to make. I am a closet Abba fan. Ever since I was looking through my parent’s record collection as a preteen and seeing the Abba boots* and taking a listen, I was hooked.

When I was in Berlin before my 17th Birthday during my exchange, we went to a karaoke bar and guess what we sang? Dancing Queen. So it seemed fitting that Mr. Bean got me Mamma Mia for Christmas. Since then, I’ve been hitting up You Tube listening to various songs. I really should just go out and get a CD.

Apparently I’m not the only one in my family who is an Abba fan. My mum usually plays hockey with a bunch of women twice a week and every year before Christmas they have a 3 on 3 tournament where they all dress up according to a certain theme. This year’s theme was the 70s and she decided to go as one of the ladies from Abba. Unfortunately, she was having problems with her neck and was unable to go, but the ladies gave her a CD which was a compilation of all the ladies’ favourite 70s songs. Guess what song my mum chose? Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (a man after midnight). We were listening to the CD as we made dinner the other night and when it came on, both my mum and I danced around the kitchen, much to Mr. Bean’s amusement. Yes, we’re just that cool. Not quite as cool as these people, though:

What are some of your not-so-secret favourite things?

*Abba boots are the huge boots that the guys (and girls) of Abba would wear. Check out those bad boys:

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