It’s hard to believe that there are only four full days left in my Daniel Fast! I’m feeling pretty good today – my throat hasn’t been super sore and I haven’t be coughing up too much gunk (TMI – sorry!) and for once I don’t have a huge headache and feel like I’ve been run over by a tank. Hopefully the feeling lasts.
I don’t really feel like I’ve made any huge emotional or spiritual progress or had any realizations like I have in previous weeks. I just have been trying to work on getting emotions and feelings out that I didn’t allow myself to feel previously. You know in situations where you’re feeling a certain way but you know that you shouldn’t be feeling that way because only bad people who aren’t in control of their emotions feel that way? Or when you felt so strongly about something and you’re not sure why yet you don’t think that you should be feeling like that? Those are the kinds of things I’ve been trying to feel. (Aside from being really stressed about going to the dentist and potentially having to drive through shoddy weather to tutor.) Do you allow yourself to feel in those situations even when you don’t think that you should be feeling that way?
I’m also starting to realize how certain events and thought patterns have affected me more than I originally thought and how such thought patterns get so ingrained in you that they happen without you realizing it. For example, I as a child, I never felt like I was good enough or worth anyone’s time. It’s kind of scary to think how that feeling of inferiority has affected me: I’ve always driven for perfection, especially in school, only to have it never feel like it was enough or that I was never good enough; on my internship I felt that I was wasting my supervisor’s (or any of my coworker’s for that matter) time by asking him questions on how to do things; I don’t exactly go out and “sell myself” in the best way because deep down I feel that I’d never be good enough for what they want anyways; and all those negative feelings about my self worth (or lack thereof) hasn’t exactly helped me with my depression.
Regardless of this, I’ve been feeling really blessed by God lately. I’m starting to see how he has continually looked after and protected me throughout my life and especially lately. It’s usually little things like a break in traffic when I’m driving home from counselling or someone saying something to me when I really needed to hear it. The biggest thing He’s done for me is whenever I’m feeling down about not feeling like I’m worth anyone’s time or effort, He says: “You’re always worth my time and effort.” So maybe that’s my big realization this week:
You are ALWAYS worth God’s time and effort. Period.
Praise the Lord for that!
This week, I’ve also been thinking about food a lot lately (surprised? I’m not!). I’ve been wondering about what foods potentially bother me and how I should start reintroducing them into my diet – any suggestions? I think that is a topic that I should explore more fully in a different post.
Anyways, since this fast has also been a culinary challenge that I have enjoyed, I want to continue to share with you what I have eaten over the last week. If you’re interested, here are my recaps on what I ate in Days 1 – 3 and Days 4 – 11.
Breakfasts: Either cornmeal with bananas, berries and nuts or my failed second attempt at gluten free flat bread with peanut butter and apples. Someday I’ll get that recipe to work!
Lunch: Leftover Pistachio Quinoa Salad and cut up vegetables
Dinner: Cauliflower Chickpea Curry on Coconut Brown Rice and a green salad. I added cauliflower and mushrooms to the curry and a handful of spinach that I needed to use up in the rice. I didn’t use coconut milk as it has a lot of preservatives, so I sprinkled in some unsweetened grated coconut.
Lunch: Leftover Winter Minestrone Soup.
Dinner: Leftover Pistachio Quinoa Salad.
Lunch: Leftover Cauliflower Chickpea Curry.
Dinner: Vegan Gluten Free Polenta Pizza. Mr. Bean had wings with friends so I wanted some comfort-esque food of my own!
Lunch: Leftover Winter Minestrone Soup.
Dinner: Quinoa Tabouli with chickpeas on a bed of mixed greens with asparagus. Mr. Bean liked this so much that he asked me to make it again!
What was your favourite thing you ate this last week?
If you’ve tried an elimination diet before, how did you go around reintroducing foods?