After my recent doom and gloom disappointment monologue from the other day, I think it’s important to give some perspective to the situation.

When I told my dad that I didn’t have the job, he was understandably disappointed as I think he was looking forward to having his daughter work for the same company as him. The next day my parents asked me how I was dealing with things and about how I felt that I was a failure because I didn’t get a job offer. They asked me about the contents of the email, so I told them. Since it essentially said that there were no available positions in the field I was interested in, not that company X didn’t want my services (i.e. failed the recruitment day), the advised me to take it at face value instead of catastrophicising it and saying that I’m a failure because I didn’t get a job offer.  My dad also said “well, that makes sense.”

You see, company X was recently taken over by its parent company, which meant a lot of restructuring. In the last year or so, everyone in the Exploration and Development* part of company X, including my dad, had to reapply for their jobs. It was a very stressful time as they cut many positions and people didn’t know whether or not they had a job. Thankfully for my dad, that is over and he still has a job.

On the other hand, the part of the company that I was interested in is currently going through the same downsizing and restructuring. Having lived through many layoffs at the company I did my internship at, I know it’s a very toxic and negative environment to be in – one that I don’t need right now (or ever to be honest.) Plus, if I came in as a new employee, there would be a good chance that people would resent me as I most likely would be taking the position from one of their coworkers/friends.

So even though it’s disappointing that I didn’t get a job, I’m glad that I didn’t get a job at Company X so I don’t have to deal with the angst that is going on in that part of the company. I also realized that just because I didn’t get a job at Company X doesn’t mean that I don’t have anything good to offer. God has an interesting way of working – I just need to keep faith that he will provide me with a job when the time is right. (Which probably won’t happen until I deal with my doing vs. being identity crisis, but that’s a post for another day.)

How has God worked in your life by turning a seemingly negative situation into a positive one?

* For those of you who are unfamiliar with how Oil and Gas Companies work, Exploration and Development is the part of the company that tries to find new sources of hydrocarbons so that they can develop that field and produce from them. This is what I did on my internship. I’m now more interested in the surface aspect of business – i.e. the processes and infrastructure required to produce the hydrocarbon, get it from point A to B and eventually turn it into consumer products.


Filed under Life, Thoughts

2 responses to “Perspective

  1. Bean, I feel ya. Everything we do or not do, has a greater purpose. Hang in there! Well, at least you have an audience to vent out to – we are here for you!

  2. Amanda

    Girl. That question at the end has been on my mind recently! I have a real answer 🙂

    In college, I led a student chapter of a human rights NGO. One of the most active, successful chapters in the country. They based their national awareness curriculum largely on what we developed. So I applied for an internship with them before my senior year of college, thinking I had a great shot. I had a friend from undergrad who had been led by me in the chapter who now worked in their HR department look over all my materials. I had even used their “official font” on everything and had people speak to the VPs about how great I was (unsolicited).

    And I didn’t get it because my school wasn’t an Ivy League school (never mind they don’t have chapters at the Ivies…). I was devastated, I had spent my entire college career giving them my heart and soul. No internship meant no chance at a job in DC or overseas after graduation.

    So I looked elsewhere and ended up working full-time for that summer and into the fall for a presidential campaign. Which prompted me to change my mind and apply to law school. And that campaign experience has opened insane doors for me in the past two years, and now I’m going to be practicing election law and couldn’t love anything more.

    I would never have moved to California, or found my new church, and (I dare say) be as close to God or mature as I am today if I had gotten that internship I so desperately wanted.

    Oh, how things work together for good 🙂

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